Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Neuropathy is Stupid

Yep, I said it. And I’m only like a month into this irritatingness.

There are positives and negatives to my medication.

- My head is in the clouds
- It gets rid of most of the pain
- I pay more attention to what I’m doing
- I earn more CVS Dollars because it means a new prescription

- My head is in the clouds
- It only gets rid of most of the pain
- I have to pay more attention to what I’m doing so I don’t fall or hit something
- I have to give CVS even more of my paycheck

The good thing is that most of my complete delirium should subside when I find the right dosage.

I typically try to take things as they come and not overreact because emotion won’t change the reality of a situation. Sometimes it’s not easy. This is one of those things. And I feel like I talk about it all the time but it’s only because it’s irritating me so much. The condemnation from my family over another "drug" (aka prescription) is also a pretty unpleasant “side effect“ of neuropathy.

The thing that’s frustrating with diabetes (and neuropathy) is there are no vacations. There’s not a day without insulin…unless you want to die, but I’m fairly certain most diabetics don’t, being that there are so many alive. Lots of diabetics go without testing their blood daily, but that’s really not recommended. And if you never thought you’d need the stuff talked about in your math classes growing up in the “real world” you’d be incorrect. Granted, I am incredibly grateful I live in a time that I do, where I can live a for-the-most-part normal life and enjoy a close-to-average lifespan. AND, I’ve met a lot great people I never would have if we didn’t have the connection of being diabetic.

When I was diagnosed with diabetes I didn’t really ever feel the need to connect with other diabetics. I didn’t want to go to a group and looking for a diabetic online community wasn’t even on my radar. At one point, about a year and a half after I was diagnosed I ended up in a public speaking class with another diabetic, I had to give an “informational” speech, I talked about my trusty pump. The girl approached me after class and told me she had diabetes too, I think I curtly said "oh" and walked away. (I feel absolutely HORRIBLE about this now. I think the rejection from my family over diabetes made me pretty cold toward the whole idea of being IN a diabetes community. I had yet to face that whether I accepted it or not, diabetes made me part of a community) It wasn’t until early 2008 that I really started to reach out to other diabetics. Trying to learn from mistakes and knowing now how great it is to find other people to relate with, I’ve looked into neuropathy groups. The groups are held at churches, retirement communities and hospitals. Needless to say, I will not be going to any of those. Discovering this has made me pretty irritated with the idea that I have “old people” health issues…diabetes, neuropathy and high cholesterol.  Realistically, they’re not “old people” problems…I have them, I’m 23.

Venting helps you come to terms with things, right? I like to think so, and I feel I’ve sufficiently vented…for today.

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