Saturday, October 17, 2009

Everyone's Got Their Own Take

It's hard, it can be scary, it's exhausting, it's anything but normal, it requires a lot of work, responsibility and dedication. Not only all that, but diabetes also requires you to be a constant student...learning all the time.

I would not wish diabetes on ANYONE. But, it most certainly brought about positive changes in my life. It's connected me with so many people I never would have had the opportunity to meetotherwise.

To me, the hardest part about living with diabetes...you never get a vacation, EVER.

The disease is not me, I will not be considered "diseased," it's not my life...it's part of my life, I'm just like everyone else (unique and dealing with unique struggles) and while I may not have the health you have, I'm determined to make up what I'm lacking in health with spirit. Sometimes I lose focus with this idea, but always somehow find my way back.

As with any challenge in life, it's important to have a "take." When a football team takes the field to play, they have a plan. People with "chronic illnesses" need a plan too. Are you going to let the disease consume you, take over your life and drain the you who once was? Or are you going to stand up to the disease and fight it, make life changes for yourself and adapt to a new lifestyle and new perspective. Let me tell you, it can be hard not to crawl up into a ball and hide under the covers some days...and that's okay when it happens, just don't get stuck. If you watch Grey's Anatomy at all Meredith and Christina occasionally get the "dark and twisties"...if it's okay for them, it's okay for me. ...That's what I like to tell my self at least.

For a long time I had a blog, but it wasn't focused on diabetes alone. I still intend on keeping the other blog going, once some things clear up, but I'd like to have a focused one too. While I don't let diabetes dictate my life (most days), I'd be lying if I tried to say diabetes was not a HUGE part of my life. As a Type 1 pumper I've got a device attached 24/7, if the device weren't enough of a reminder, I count the carbs in every food that passes my face, see the scars on my fingers, look in my purse and see my glucometer, insulin & emergency pump supplies. Diabetes is everpresent. Like the younger, annoying step-sibling you never asked for, but still came. I am grateful for some of the changes that I've made since being diagnosed, in a lot of ways diabetes has been a blessing...but a lot of things would be easier without it.

Anyway, this is me shooting for 100...right now I'm 193, definitely not on target, but I did eat not too long ago.

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